I’ve made a point not to disparage curricula, books, services, or products that fellow homeschool moms have created for this community. In fact, I’ve gone out of my way to state that I respect the work that has been done to provide booklists, lesson plans, and other resources. I consider many of the creators to be friends or at least friendly acquaintances. I recommend their resources (curricula, books, podcasts, etc.), share my thoughts when asked, and greatly appreciate their sacrifices.
And I use a lot of what these moms create in my own home!
My main message
I’ve suggested (and will continue to do so) that materials should include the work and ideas of a diverse group of people, and I’ve contributed to that body of work with resources for doing just that. I’ve said over and over again that most of the books and things are not BAD (though a few actually are); the lists are INCOMPLETE.
There’s no reason that we can’t make room for additional options, especially those that make all the sense in the world for children living in a vibrant, 21st-century democracy.
Keep the great stuff. Get rid of the messed-up stuff. Set some of the good stuff aside simply to make room for a different type of goodness. Add some new great stuff. That has always been my message, and most of the Charlotte Mason leaders (and so many others outside the CM community) that I’ve heard from agree and have been VERY open and kind.
Sooo…
I find it disappointing and offensive when peers publicly rip apart my work. It’s been called unbiblical, narcissistic, racist (Seriously?), and too woke (Here we are, back to everyone’s favorite new sin). Ironically, I find this ugly reaction to the idea that Black voices be included (because, let’s face it… that’s what they’re upset about) to be those very things:
- Unbiblical
- Narcissistic
- Racist
- Harmful to children
I continue to affirm the idea that our children need more beautifully diverse books to go along with many of the beautiful books the community has already been using for a long time. People can continue to tear down this idea and focus their efforts on keeping things “good” and “holy” (which apparently equals white to them), but why are they feeling so threatened?
A flawed strategy
And then there’s the whole “I’ll use a Black person to speak out against it” strategy. In these cases, white people who dislike the idea of mirrors and windows are finding Black people who are willing to agree that it’s a harmful idea and giving them a platform from which to share, but these tactics only impress people who don’t know and can’t see past the veneer.
Black folks have been dealing with this for… oh, let me see… 400 years.
Give me $5, a cupcake, and 10 minutes of free time, and I’ll find you an entire panel of Black people who will take a mic and publicly make a case for why they hate Black people. In other words, just because you find a Black person to refute a concept set forth and shared by other Black people, does not make what they say true or even relevant. It only shows just how many straws you’re grasping at as your premise slowly sinks into the quicksand of outdated views. ESPECIALLY when you never highlight Black voices in any other capacity – only when you’re using them.
Stay focused
You certainly don’t have to agree with or even like the idea of mirrors and windows (though admittedly, I can’t think of any rational reasons why someone would protest against the idea), but you also don’t have to tear it down. You are like bloodthirsty sharks prowling and waiting for any opportunity for a takedown. What are you trying to accomplish?
You can keep working in your own sphere, doing things the way you’ve always done them. Parents who enjoy working that way will continue to follow you. In fact, people who don’t even agree with your thoughts on this topic, will likely still follow you because you have other valuable things to share. You’re all good! There’s no need to worry about what I’m doing.
And I will continue to work in my area, speaking and writing about things that are important to the people who are listening to and reading my work. I’m not trying to take anything from you; I’m only adding my valuable contributions to a collective body of work. You need to stop with the hostility dipped in feigned innocence.
Don’t fight dirty. Actually, don’t fight at all. Peace is golden.
DEAR READERS: Read good books. Make sure plenty are written by and about Black and Brown people. The End.
You can find me on Instagram at @heritagemomblog having fun and being happy!
Amber I am so sorry you are receiving this form of criticism. It makes my sad and angry. Thank you for all of your hard work and time you put into helping all of us have more resources for helping our kids know and love black and brown voices. Your resources and book lists have been so helpful. May God give you peace, comfort, and strength to keep going.
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. They are heard and received!
I can’t begin to thank you for all of your hard work! The resources, books lists, ideas and encouragement you provide are invaluable! As a white mama raising two biracial girls, I felt completely overwhelmed and lost trying to figure out how to homeschool my girls in a way that honors and respects both sides of their family tree and the beautiful diversity God created in our world. Finding your blog and utilizing the resources that you’ve put so much prayer, effort and time into has been a HUGE blessing to our family! Thank you for helping our entire family learn and grow! God bless!
Maci, I am with you as another white mama of two brown girls. I could have written this very comment, so thank you for expressing it already! I wanted to cry for joy when I found Amber’s blog, and I thank God for her and her life’s work. Amber, I support you fully. God will deal with the deceived haters that think they are doing his work by bashing you. Peace and love and hugs 💖
Thank you for all of that…especially the hugs 🙂
I’ve heard this same thing from so many families, and it’s what keeps me going even when things get hard. Thank you for being here!
Heritage mom comment
Your stance is absolutely beautiful and inspiring, Amber! Not gonna lie I was expecting a “but” somewhere in there – “I don’t usually do this, but it’s off now, y’all, cuz these responses to a work I’ve poured myself into are ridiculous to say the least, so these curricula are ones that I can’t support” or something along those lines. (And I’ll confess that that response seems perfectly valid and justified in my mind….)
And yet, there you are again, even in the midst of these painful accusations and discriminatory comments, pouring out grace upon grace upon grace while continuing to focus on the work God has laid out before you.
And somehow that grace and restraint is even more powerful and convicting than a list of what to avoid would be.
I’m sorry that you continually deal with this and battle against these accusations, ideas and assaults against your personhood.
Your lists, your philosophies, your generosity have been a powerful tool in not just our homeschool but in our lives. Your resources have helped build our library; your willingness to share your experiences has given us a window and even a door into other ways of thinking and understanding; your thoughts have helped us to form and reform and share our own; and your words have helped us to articulate some things we couldn’t quite articulate before discovering your blog.
Our whole family is grateful for your ministry and the ways our world has expanded because of you and your family’s willingness to vulnerably share themselves and you with us.
Thank you. (And thank them too!)
Trust me… There are moments when I want to retaliate, and I feel like I have PLENTY that I can point out with some of the positions, resources, and teaching of my attackers. But in the end, I know that it will make me just like them. It will also make our shared audiences so uncomfortable (and send waves through the community). So I’ll take a deep breath and try to walk the right way. It also helps that I often take weeks or months to speak because I try to wait until I’m not overly emotional when I respond. Thank you for acknowledging how hard it can be. Whew!
Thank you for your work. It is very much appreciated by so many.
Thank you so much for taking the time to let me know.
So sorry you are dealing with this. I am close with folks across the full political spectrum and honestly can’t imagine any of them would have a problem with your work. Baffling! What you provide is reliable recommendations and resources. For free mostly! Who’s crying about that?
Thanks for all your work. My children and those families I’ve shared your site and recommendations with have greatly benefitted. Looking forward to starting Heart & Soul with my 11yo soon.
Thank you, Betsy. It’s confusing for me too because I really try hard to stay focused on kids and what they need without using triggering words or things that can upset either side of the aisle. But I guess there will always be those who refuse to listen. Thank you for always being such an encouragement. I hope you have a great year with H&S!
I highly recommend you check out Center for Biblical Unity for a biblical approach to these hard topics.
I’m so grateful for you and your gracious, intelligent voice in this homeschool (and specifically CM) world. I’ve heard people decrying “windows and mirrors” and contemporary books in tones that alarm me. As if the people of the past had the secret to being more Christlike and more human than people today. Now, I love old books! I have a library of classics! But I realize that’s not enough. Presenting more than one viewpoint (i.e. more than one book on a specific era/person/topic) is not a threat. It’s not a moral harm. It’s a chance to think critically and compassionately, a chance to spread admiration past the usual suspects. It’s a chance to find more heroes. It’s a way to hold my children’s hands while they practice loving their neighbor as themselves.
Amber, please don’t stop! I’m a first-year homeschooler who has already found your work invaluable (we started Africa is Not a Country and picked up Anna Hibiscus for our next read-aloud today!). Sister, I need you. I’m praying you find strength to continue these good works he has prepared for you.
Yes! I also love old books. I read them, and share them with my kids. I agree with all of this!
Your argument confuses me. You’re accusing people of using token black people to make a point across, yet you are doing the same thing with literature. Literature should be judged on its own value, not on the color of the authors skin. If the literature is good, then let it be spread widely. Now, if you’re talking about advertisement or representation in the workforce, on television, and in life, yes! But asking someone to read a work because it reflects someone’s color or life experience is missing the whole point of literature.
I’m not asking anyone who doesn’t want to read something to read a single thing. I don’t end up in people’s inboxes by mistake, and I don’t post my recommendations on other people’s social media. If you’re here, it’s because you chose to be here. I provide recommendations for people who WANT to read widely and from a variety of voices. You lack understanding of the issues at hand. The literature I’m recommending IS good literature. But the books have been left off nearly all lists of “really good books.” Those lists typically only have good white books (with white characters and about white people and no black people at all or only with black people who are suffering at every turn through slavery or Jim Crow or something similar), and there are OTHER good books by OTHER good authors that deserve to be added to the lists. If you’re still confused, I have to believe that you’re choosing to be so because I never said that a book should be chosen only on the color of an author’s skin. In fact, one of my most recent posts on this website clearly states that I believe wonderful books can be written by all authors, regardless of race. If YOU personally don’t care whether your children ever see themselves in their literature (and I suspect that they ALWAYS do which is why you’re so incredibly confused), you don’t have to do anything differently. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing; no one is trying to stop you. But a TON of us are moving forward in another direction without you, and that’s okay. It shouldn’t bother you if others want to read something that you’re not interested in. It’s peculiar to me that you would care so much what we’re doing over here.
Your response makes no sense and shows your ignorance of the purpose of literature. We don’t read to see ourselves, regardless of color or life circumstances. I am not attacking you as a person, I am disagreeing with the ideas you’ve presented. Your responses to anyone who disagree with you immediately go to bullying as evidenced by your response above. As a woman of color I am acutely aware of the issues at hand.
Thank you Amber for your writings. You are carving a path forward for all of us to honor our cultures and seek diversity in our bookshelves, in our teaching, conversations, and in the way we live. Regardless of what Tanya thinks about literature, I am thankful for your example, your website, and your book “A Place to Belong”. Keep doing what you are doing!
I appreciate your support more than you know! Thank you for being here and for taking the time to leave me a comment.
Thank you, Amber, for what you have given those of us who seek to paint a broader picture of the world through literature to our children. I consider your time and thoughtfulness a beautiful gift.
My grandfather wrote a book called “Think Like an Octopus: The Art of Thinking on the Other Hand”. His guidance in our family has always reminded me to consider the perspective of others in all things. He is nearly ninety years old and was an long time Texas preacher and teacher. His writings were considered heresy by some others at his university and in the church, but I’m so grateful that he shared a message that needed to be heard.
I feel that way about all that you have contributed to the homeschooling community… that you are a voice that needs to be heard. Thank you for how you have helped me (and so many of us!) learn about and celebrate our differences. Blessings and hugs to you and your family!
What a wonderful legacy from your grandfather! Having his words and thoughts to ponder as you move through life is quite a gift. Thank you for encouraging me in my work!
Amber, I am so grateful for your work in this area. I can’t imagine how frustrating and hurtful it is to be denigrated for trying to raise awareness and provide OPTIONS for families who want to present fantastic literature to their children that reflects the beautiful diversity of this world. The fact that (some) people are angry means that you’ve struck a nerve and is evidence that you need to keep up the good work.
I love the old books that we read as part of the Charlotte Mason philosophy. The situations in which so many the characters of the novels of 100 or 200 years ago find themselves are so different from the ones in which we find ourselves; yet my learners and I have been able to put ourselves in their shoes and have learned so much from their stories. That’s the beauty of literature! Yet, how sad would it be if we limited ourselves to only these books and a misguided attempt at literary purity.
As Miss Mason herself said, “‘Thou hast set my feet in a large room’; should be the glad cry of every intelligent soul.” We only make the room larger, and the feast more grand, with perspectives from people of a variety of cultural backgrounds and experiences.
I am grateful for you!
Thank you so very much for your understanding and encouragement. I agree with you in every way!