Today I have the pleasure of sharing a guest post from a Charlotte Mason mom with a wealth of experience – both with life and homeschooling. I learned of her story through our personal correspondence, and I’m excited to share the blessings of her wisdom with you. What struck me most about Betty’s story is her journey through various “seasons” of motherhood and how her relationship with Charlotte Mason’s teachings has shifted through the years. I hope you enjoy hearing from her as much as I have!

I am the daughter of Cuban immigrants who had come to this country in their early teens.  Even though I loved reading, neither I nor my parents had a really good grasp of American history.  I was unfamiliar with most of the classic books.  My American husband grew up in a broken home where sports was the escape and reading was neglected.  We had 3 children in 2 years and were unqualified and unprepared to homeschool, but we felt the Lord had called us to it.  I gave up my nursing career and set my heart for the journey.

I learned about Charlotte Mason’s methods through a website and email group back in the year 2000, and it filled my heart with longing. A lovely idea had been planted! I devoured For the Children’s Sake and Charlotte Mason Companion and snagged the pink volumes on ebay.  We started with baby steps. Thankfully, my first child took to it quickly and impressively! My boys, on the other hand, were more challenging.

Later, my husband started a job that required traveling the state of Florida and Puerto Rico. We wanted to join him, so I had to streamline our schooling and make it travel-friendly.  I ended up schooling my oldest 3 together before it was a thing!  I picked a “spine” and I read aloud to all three of them.  I read Lynn Bruce’s classic article, The Virtues of Tea and added tea and treats to our afternoon read alouds, and started forming some of our first family traditions.  The kids and I flourished as we got to share books, get to know Florida nature, and enjoy other cultures. 

After a while, my husband got me a blog, and I started to write and contribute to a few homeschooling magazines.  In my eyes, we had become the poster children for Charlotte Mason Homeschooling.  This became my passion. 

And it slowly became my idol. 

I had taken His good gift and cherished it just a bit too much, not realizing how it was stifling my marriage and home.  All seemed blissful and “in control” on the outside.

Then I had my 4th child! The child of my prayers! She would become God’s instrument of sanctification in my life (and still is!)! I juggled homeschooling with her in a sling most days. By the time she was ready to be a student, we had a major move and major job change for my husband. He was now traveling to 8 states and gone most of the time. I was often solo parenting 3 teenagers and a struggling 6 yr old who could not learn to read for many years. I mourned for the homeschool we had—always holding it up as the ideal.  It was what I was always trying to get back to, but the Lord was teaching me to let go and look to Him.

It would take several years of frustration and tears to realize my daughter had dyslexia and other processing issues.  The more I schooled her, the more she resisted and shut down.  I sought help and advice on different forums, but the message was, “you must not be doing things right, CM method’s always work”.  It felt like every tweak I made was settling for a “less than” education.  My daughter became so frustrated that in order to preserve our relationship, I gave up homeschooling her.  We signed her up for an online, classical school which was a mixed experience with her struggles, but the Lord gave her some godly, loving teachers who continued to speak life into her. For me, it was a season of disillusionment. 

Who was I if I was not a CM homeschooler? 

During this time, our family experienced many hardships.  I had a surprise and life threatening pregnancy where I was in and out of the hospital and on bedrest.  The baby “failed to thrive” for many months.  And my father-in-law with Alzheimer’s came to live with us in our home. He became our “living book” as we struggled to care for him for 5 years.

Those were very dark days for me.  PPD came again with such a vengeance, I could barely function.  But the Lord, in His mercy, kept teaching me to let go of my agenda and receive the life He was giving me.  My oldest three ended up dual-enrolling at the local college for the rest of their high school years.  They loved it and the professors were all so impressed with their love for learning that they told my children to thank me for the education I had given them! There were some growing pains with attending college, but we were able to work through them as a family. I had not planned on ending their homeschooling at that time, but God had other plans. 

I was comforted to learn that children, in Britain, graduate at 16, even still. My middle daughter started to make some progress with tutoring and online classes; and her sense of wonder began to awaken. Seeking outside help had felt like defeat and relief.  All the while, we tried to maintain some read aloud books; these became a living link between us, nurturing our family life and making precious memories.

Soon my baby and last child was ready for school!  We started off full of happy hopes and a little trepidation.  I had been out of the CM world for a few years now and I was scared to re-enter.  The CM world had felt a bit harsh and rigid back then. We now knew many of the intricacies of Ambleside School as more people made their pilgrimages to Ambleside, England and unearthed more PNEU publications. 

Different authorities on CM’s methods seemed to compete for “Purist” status. 

And now, with social media, every CM schooler had a platform whether or not she had much experience.  Though it was all well-meaning, I was wounded in the process. It felt like there was no room for kids who were not “elite”.  But this was not what I saw in CM’s Volumes.  I had one more child to homeschool and I needed to be faithful to finish well. 

Could I recapture the beauty and simplicity of my early days? 

Could I homeschool again without making all the same mistakes?

Things went from fun to frustrating quickly.  Then when it seemed the worst timing, with my father-in-law at his hardest, my mom and dad both in and out of the hospital, someone donated my registration fee to a Living Education Retreat. I am forever grateful to that generous person! It was a wonderful, gracious environment that was a much needed balm for my soul.  Through the workshops and friendships, I was reminded of how simple and beautiful this way of learning can be.  My hope was kindled and my courage was renewed.  The lessons I learned there, I still apply to this day, mainly what Nancy Kelly told me, ‘…cut back till there is peace’. Such wisdom!

Back home, I recognized my youngest was struggling much like my other daughter.  This child, too, not only had dyslexia, but some challenging processing disorders that made it almost impossible for her to narrate. I needed to back track, slow down, and adjust to my born person. I realized that all this time, I been trying to teach a curriculum rather than teach my child. I had been trying to school all my children as if they were my easy and eager firstborn.  My others were neither easy nor eager. 

With each new child and season, I needed to flex and adjust and seek the Lord for wisdom.

I had to trust that the Lord would enable each child to fulfill the CM motto: “I am, I can, I ought, and I will” even if their journey looked different from each other.  Matthew 11 says that, “His yoke for me is easy and His burden light.” Every time I put on a yoke not meant for me, it quickly became stifling for both me and my children.  I am not ever beyond this besetting sin of mine.  “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builder build in vain.”  I found this to be so true.

We often think that our children are the students in our homeschool, but really we are the ones being “schooled” by God. 

He is teaching us to look to Him and to follow His leading. He is teaching us to find our identity in Him, not in homeschooling, or Charlotte Mason, or anything else we do.  He knows what we can handle and what will make each child flourish—sometimes that means trials and hard times and cutting back our plans.  It is Jesus who draws the boundary lines in our lives and it is within those lines that we flourish and find our happiness (Psalm 16).

We must resist reducing CM homeschooling to replicating a Victorian school that taught in a classroom 6 days a week.

We are in a home changing diapers, cooking dinner, and caring for aging parents. Unlike Charlotte Mason, we must balance our role of teacher with those of wife and mother, but it is possible with the Lord’s help.  Though she was never a mother, God blessed this little woman with incredible wisdom and her methods have proven to be timeless.

Charlotte Mason schooling is not a booklist, or a rigid system….it is an atmosphere, a discipline, and a life that you must make your own.

You must do the work and study the methods so you can flesh them out, but with the goal of becoming more of an expert of your children than even of dear Charlotte! It is then that her methods can be applied in a way that will fit your journey.

As I have grown in my journey with the Lord, I have seen the Charlotte Mason world grow too!  Charlotte Mason is being discovered by an increasingly diverse new generation of mamas that are adding their “special sauce” to the methods, as Amber Johnston says.  Along with the older books, there are now modern living books and technology for us to utilize.  There are groups reading and discussing the Volumes locally and online! There are resources and podcasts giving space for rich and challenging conversations about what it means to be a Charlotte Mason homeschooler. There is abundant encouragement and teaching. I was just blessed to be at the Simply Charlotte Mason Retreat—my heart was so refreshed and recalibrated.  It is an exciting time! 

Why is this so important? 

Charlotte Mason “preached” an education that was open and accessible to all; she said it was like bringing a child into “a large broad room”.  A Charlotte Mason education plants the feet of children securely in truth, goodness, and beauty while giving them a discerning and generous view of the world and their fellow man.  This education will require you to seek the Lord for yourself and to be well versed in CM’s methods. 

Be assured that Charlotte Mason’s methods are robust and resilient—able to stretch to fit the needs of each child and family.

I can look back over my life and see the flexibility and relevance of her methods through every season and with every child. I pray my story encourages you, as well as warns you of the pitfalls in the homeschooling mom’s journey.  I am a well-weathered fellow mama that is still learning and sharing what little wisdom the Lord has given me. I am excited at what God is doing in our community in our day. 

Aslan is on the move.

Betty Dickerson is a native Southern Floridian and mama of 5 children from 24 yrs to 8 yrs old.  She has always homeschooled using Charlotte Mason methods and can often be found with luggage in hand and school books in a backpack traveling as a family with her husband’s work!  These travels have taken them all over Florida, Puerto Rico, the Southern US states, Spain and Italy!  She has adjusted homeschooling to fit the traveling needs of her family and, recently, to adjust for dyslexia and learning disabilities in her younger children.  She is most at home in her comfy chair meeting with the Lord and journaling in the morning before facing the demands of the day.  Though an RN by trade, her interests have included herbal medicine, watercoloring, knitting, writing, reading, hiking, baking artisan bread, then after a celiac diagnosis, how to cook for a variety of dietary needs—sharing these interests with her children! Love for the Lord is the consuming passion of her heart while cafecito runs deep in her Cuban blood!

You can catch up with us on Instagram at @heritagemomblog (Amber) and @jeffyandbetty (Betty).